The Second Clanmother: Wisdom Keeper

Wisdom Keeper is the Protect-ress of Sacred Traditions, the Mother of Friendship, Planetary Unity and Mutual Understanding. She teaches us the art of self development and expansion, how to access Planetary Memory, personal recall, ancient wisdom and knowledge, to understand that every life form holds wisdom, how to be a friend and to restore friendship by honoring the viewpoints of all life forms. 

Today was the second circle of the clanmothers. I had been looking forward to it. After one moon of being busy with the first clanmother I could feel it was time to move on. I have taken the lessons from the first clanmother and keep them close to  my heart and with that feeling I left to the group today. I traveld most of the way together with my boyfriend. We had two rough days together, with a lot of talking that made clear both are hearts are so afraid to get hurt. So afraid of losing one another. So it was hard saying goodbye.


When I arrived at the station my friend Nancy was already waiting for me. For me comforting to keep my mind and my heart calm. We arrived early and got welcomed with hot tea, cookies and fire. A good welcome.
When everybody was there we got upstairs and opened the circle, we sang and than got outside to go to our place to connect with the second clanmother.


At my sacred place
The water is still covered with ice and yet I can feel the spring. The birds are singing. No death mouse this time at my place, pfew! But I did saw 2 times already 2 couples of "boomkruipers". Birds who will stay their whole lives together. A beautiful sign for two people who are that afraid. On the way in the train we also saw a field full with swans, monogamous birds also...
I have found my mate and would like to keep him. It will be fine.


I can feel the earth, the stones, their vibration low and deep. Their song...hummmmaaaaa, slowly, very low. Like breathing in and out. Hummmmmm...in....maaaaaa...out.
What do you want to know the stones ask me.
I don't know, is there and end?
No, they answer, and yes it will be fine daughter of the earth.
You also call me daugther of the ocean, fire child....?
You are her child and she is everything, and because of that so are you.


It becomes misty in front of my eyes, fairies dance on the water, I'm on the border, the edge of worlds, in between. Avalon is so close...
Lady, lady, part the mists for me...
Lady, lady, unveil your mystery.


I get my flute, close my eyes and play. I feel the creatures surrounding me, feel their energy, as I stop after playing a while, I can hear the drums, calling us back to the house... Did time went so fast?


I get up and get my stuff, give some cookies to the creatures and walk away from my place. I run into Nancy, I take her hand and we walk both back to the house. She tells me, next time when you play your flute, keep your audience with you! I laugh...somebody else noticed them too :-)


Back in the house we must pick out a stone with our eyes closed from the altar. We must connect with the stone and get to our deepest desire.My stone is heartshaped. Love.... Something that I am, something that is so important to me...Love.... THe stone felt cold at first, but gets more warm. Her song is high, like the purring of a cat but much higher. I hear giggling. Fairy energy telling me to feel the joy of my heart. Me deepest desire, to be love, give love, work with the horses. Love...the energy of the Robin. There he is again. After our meditation with the stone we tell about our experiences. When I tell mine about love, the horse and that I see all the stripes in the stone as scars. The sing for me.



How could anybody tell you that you are less than beautiful
How could anybody tell you that you are less than whole
How could nobody notice your love is like a miracle,deeply connected to your soul.


I can feel their love, feel my tears and can not let go. To afraid to get judged, rejected. So I swallow my tears and feel angry with myself. I feel stupid.


We go for lunch. A wren shows up. Sings for me. He is so pretty. So small yet king of all birds because he was so smart. He also makes me think inmediatly at Sorcha from the seven waters... Her love was almost impossible...but in the end everything turns out fine. She believed. She was his little owl, just like I am my boyfriends little bird and like Niiv is my little owl.
I feel my heart feel with warmth...it will be fine. Love is all. Love will win, not fear.


The rest of the afternoon I can not really remember, I remember emotions, and making the plate. Grey this time...


We get a new bead and close the circle. I feel tired and want to go home. I need to travel for more than a hour.
At the station my ex husband comes to pick me up to bring me home with my children. I am happy to see them and am happy to get home. I hug my daugther and bring her to bed.
The house is full of people, but it feels empty without my boyfriend and I feel stupid. Me, the independent woman, feel like a little girl missing her boyfriend...
I first call Nancy to tell her how I feel, that I feel like a pussy :(
She understands and that feels good. After that I call boyfriend, the talk is emotional. I feel my tears again, and again I can not let them go. He feels me. I try to explain my day, but it is hard, I'm full with emotions, with fear, I miss him and feel stupid about that.
But we have a good talk and I hang up the phone more calm.


I take my son to bed, and make tea. Together with my friend Gert I drink tea and have a good talk. That helps me get my feelings straight. After our talk I go to bed. Crawl next to my son. Tomorrow a busy day and I think to myself I wish it was monday... I wish him close to me.
I don't care about the feeling that I need him, I love him, I am allowed to feel safe with him and will be happy when he is back and feel like the little bird I am to him. Little, safe, protected and warm.
I will cry my tears than....