The battle of acceptance

I want to accept, this feeling of love, this feeling of happiness. Ik want to surrender to all what is good. But I am so afraid.
Acceptance seems to overcome terrain, but how do I surrender?
How do I listen to that soft calming voice, when the voice of fear tries to over-scream her together with a whole army?
And how do I gett o that state of surrender?
I can see it all so clearly, the how and the why.
Do I hold on to much to my pain, and if yes, how do I let go?
And than again the soft voice again, like a wave of acceptance, coming and going.
I never knew that surrendering to love, whatever kind of love, could be that hard and difficult.
And why we've cut ourselfs from the source, from ourselfs.
I should listen even better....