Out of the forest

I stayed there so long. For about seven years. I am so used to my fox form, walking through the forest, sleeping like a little ball under the bushes. Always together with my male friend. That friend that I love so much. Who helped my through more dark clouds than I can even imagine, who stayed with me and loved me  for all who I am.

But yesterday things changed....We took a long walk in the forest. Way more long than we normally do. And from the forest we came into the dunes. The wind in my face, my nose smelling different smells, my fur being blown by the wind. I felt excitement, but in the moment that I felt the excitment I also felt this sadness coming over me. We came at the top of a dune and sit there together. Leaning against each other, cuddling and looking each other deeply in the eye. And I knew we had to say goodbye.

Tears fell from my eyes and I changed in my human form, and so did he. He told me it was time for the next step, time to leave the forest, and go to my true place and live my destiny on earth. He touched my face so sweetly, he would always be a part of me.
He told me a other man would take care of me. But that he would aways be close because he is a part of me. And than a playfull slap on my butt and I run. I feel this incredible happiness coming over me. I am naked, I feel the wind touch my skin and the sun kissing it. I look over my shoulder where he stands and I see him smiling, he's proud.

I run to the ocean, the first touch of water against my feet. I kneel, let the waves play with my body, feel the sand and the water...I cry, I feel home, eventhough I have no idea what will happen.
I look behind me again, he is still there, and encourages me to go further into the water.
So I do. I go more deep, and feel me taking a different form. Scales over my legs, a tale, I can swim, I am suprised, but still happy.
I smile, look back one more time, and see a little fox walking away, back to the forest, i blow a kiss and than dive into the deep. Following an acient song...a song that fills my heart. A song that hopefully soon will overshadow the pain of losing someone very dear to me.....

Starting all over again

What are your dreams? On that question I had no longer an answer. During the whole last year, my life was only about surviving, arranging stuff and going through a rollercoaster of emotions. Not only my emotions but those of my children and boyfriend too. And sensitive as I am, I take all emotions on my shoulders, including the ones of others. I lost my creativity and had absolutly no motivation for anything. I was tired all the time and with that I also had a lot of pain and sickness going on. I got so sick and tired with all of that, I needed something positive. So about 2 months ago I found on internet a Goddess Training with all kind of different courses, meditations and other amazing goodies. It looked so positive! And positivity was for far out what I needed the most, something uplifting in my somewhat dark life.
So I talked it over with my boyfriend and I thought I should do it, I had nothing to lose anyway, only to win.
The best thing for me was that they also had alot of stuff going on starting a buisiness. So I made the decesion to do it and took the whole package with all the things that they got :-)
And this week I will start with a training to make my house a happy, sacred and decluttered place, and I follow a 30 day workshop with exercises that I receive everyday. Oh and not to forget, every night I do a meditation for divine dreaming :-)
I will let you know how everything turnes out of course.

If you are curious about what I will do, just take a look here: