Clanmother : Look far Woman

Looks Far Woman is the Mother of Visions, Dreams and Psychic Impressions, the Guardian of Dreamtime and the Keeper of Inner Potential. She teaches us how to understand our visions, dreams, feelings and impressions, how to enter Dreamtime, how to properly use our natural psychic abilities and gifts of prophecy for humanity, how to use spiritual boundaries, psychic self-defense, and how to respect those boundaries in others, and how to use our inner potential to become "healed healers". 

I got to bed, tired, sad, I don't want to understand anything anymore.

I curl up and close my eyes. Immediately fox is there. I find myself at a big gate, a sort of portal. It looks likes there is only universe, I see the moon, stars, colours, rainbows, it's a lot and I get down on my knees. I remember the story of the clanmother, the girl being raped by the hunters, brought to the clanmother by her brother.

I now I am there, at the portal of dreamtimes, raped, not physical, but my soul is raped. I feel broken, alone, wounded. Against my face the soft nose of fox. It is always him who is there, helping me and leading me.

I can feel my pain so clear, so intense, but still no tears come down from my eyes. Tears are the blood of the soul, tears are the pearls of the soul, tears are words that need to be written....

I heard it all....but I lay there just feeling that intense pain. Fox encourages me to come with him and slowly I stand up. He wants me to go through the gate, I just don't care anymore, I feel lost, alone, in pain. So I follow without thoughts, my mind empty. And when I step through the gate I don't know anything anymore.

I wake up with only this as a memory. I think I am still there, that the story will continue. My soul is in the dreamtime, in the arms of Looks Far Woman.

Today I can not go to the training, I will have to face this clanmother alone. Maybe for a reason, I don't know.

I feel empty, my eyes look glazy, I can feel part of me is not here. But I trust fox to where he leads me, he will take care of my soul.