This is me

Here I am this is me, there is no one else I rather be


I step outside, cold drups of rain touch my skin.
I let them do so, and with each drup I feel more alive.
In connection with all that is.
It makes me feel alive.

The aliveness I need so much.
I give away to much from my heart again and again.
I care too much, but someone wise told me once, caring too much? I think it is called love.
So maybe there is such thing as loving too much?
I don't know.

I am me, I am complicated, well that is what people think of me.
I love simple things, can be happy with almost nothing.
As long my heart can give, can be filled, can be real, can be me.

But my lessons are hard.
Sometimes I think when are my lessons done,
because I can not take another one....
Is it strange that I want love?
Want the joy of sharing and togetherness in my heart?

Or am I just ment to be left outside alone?
But even alone, I can only be me.
Apparantly people see my little me as a rebelic, annoying person, who tells the truth and spitting out her heart.
But why would I change?
Why would I pretend to be something I am not?
The more everybody says no, the more I want yes.
The more I want to prove I can.

Even for myself.
What I proved to myself lately?
That I am real, that I can take care of myself, that I am pretty, that my children are my joy, that I need animals around me, that I am normal because I speak to the unseen, that I am good because I am me.

I am free, and because I am free, I am where I have to be.
In my heart, there where love is all.....